Love you to love others
LOVE YOU TO LOVE OTHERS…
In 2016 I met this handsome young man. With his perfectly chiseled body and mesmerizing deep-set eyes, who was I to resist this Adonis! Being with him was bliss except for those dark days where I would sink into the deep dark abyss of feeling worthless and underserving. It happened often too!!
For instance, I hated going out with him. Every time we went out, I was very aware of the fact that I was different and hated it. Seeing the beautiful girls with evenly toned and shaped legs in heels got me into a space where I was convinced that he was checking them out and must surely want them.
“He must me staying with me out of pity,” I would think
Needless to say, most of our well-intended outings always ended with me picking a fight and us fighting. Each time we fought, a piece of “us” got chapped away and we were never the same. It was no wonder that “Adonis” and I broke up in 2018!
Looking back in hindsight, I have learnt that in that relationship, my feeling of inadequacy drove us apart. If I could have a do-over, I would surely feel more secure in myself and love myself more enough to nurture the love we had for each other.
You see, those people who did say that self-love leads to healthier relationships with others were nothing but wise! RuPaul, a well-known personality, often said, “If you can’t love yourself, then how in the hell can you love someone else?” I didn’t appreciate and respect what I brought to the table! No wonder it was for “Adonis” to appreciate my value. Instead, my lack of self-love frustrated him out of my arms.
People often ask why they have a difficult time attracting the right people into their personal, friends and community lives. I believe that the foundation and key to attracting right people is centred on how one views him or herself – SELF LOVE.
Self-love not only feeds your soul, but your spirit, and emotional well-being. The energy of how you feel about yourself, your focus, and your spirit can be either a strong attractor or detractor of what you want and need in your life, especially when trying to find love and fulfilment in life.
Beyond my sexual relationships, there has been incidences were I know that the same lack of self-love hindered me from unlocking the potential in me to be the young active change maker I have always been purposed to be. So many times I allowed and believed a voice inside me to whisper negative affirmations in me. So many times I stopped myself from reaching out and helping someone and I regretted it with such intensity as I regret my actions in my relationship with “Adonis”
As we celebrate Valentine’s Day and February as the month of love, always remember that loving you is the foundation to everything. Loving you makes you a better lover, sister, brother and most importantly change maker. When you reach high self-actualization of loving and respecting who you are, you are transparent, secure even in your insecurities, and this translates to you attracting relationships that are healthier and more loving beyond measure!
People often ask why they have a difficult time attracting the right people into their personal, friends and community lives. I believe that the foundation and key to attracting right people is centred on how one views him or herself – SELF LOVE.
Self-love not only feeds your soul, but your spirit, and emotional well-being. The energy of how you feel about yourself, your focus, and your spirit can be either a strong attractor or detractor of what you want and need in your life, especially when trying to find love and fulfilment in life.
Beyond my sexual relationships, there has been incidences were I know that the same lack of self-love hindered me from unlocking the potential in me to be the young active change maker I have always been purposed to be. So many times I allowed and believed a voice inside me to whisper negative affirmations in me. So many times I stopped myself from reaching out and helping someone and I regretted it with such intensity as I regret my actions in my relationship with “Adonis”
As we celebrate Valentine’s Day and February as the month of love, always remember that loving you is the foundation to everything. Loving you makes you a better lover, sister, brother and most importantly change maker. When you reach high self-actualization of loving and respecting who you are, you are transparent, secure even in your insecurities, and this translates to you attracting relationships that are healthier and more loving beyond measure!
Happy Valentines!
Love yourself!
Spread the love!
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