Relationships

Hello lovely people. Hope you are all doing great in 2017. Today i am back with an interesting issue some may find it sensitive, which is the issue of disability and relationships. Since i started posting pictures of my boyfriend on social media (mostly instagram) i have received a lot of questions about relationships. I will address some of the questions here and i will give a little bit of advice or rather the lessons i learnt in my dating experience as a person living with a disability. This is going to be a hella long post so grab a cup of coffee, tea or anything that makes you comfortable ☕️🍾🍺🍼
Here are some of the questions:

How did you meet?? 
We met through a mutual friend. Been good friends for 5 months. Now we are here lol.

What are the challenges you have faced in your relationships because of your disability?
I made myself vulnerable. I used think if someone comes to me and say "i love you" i tnought that person was doing me a favor. I ended up falling for the wrong people. In other words i dated for the wrong reasons. I felt pity for myself

How do you maintain your relationship? 
-communication
-being open
-use every single opportunity we get to visit each other. We are in a long distance relationship which can be frustrating sometimes, but we pulling through lol,,

How is the response from your families and people in general??
Both our families has been so accepting and supportive. As for the general public i developed a thick skin. You can also check my article in Herald where i talked a bit about my relationship here

I received a lot of questions but i just chose the most asked. Otherwise if i had to answer all of them this post was gonna be all about Q and A. I will try to upload a video on my YouTube channel responding to some of your questions. Look out for that. If you have any burning question about anything please leave a comment below.


When i was drafting this blog post i talked to a few of my friends who also have disabilities. They shared their lessons from their dating experience which i realised we share almost the same feelings and experience. I am going to give 5 lessons (advice) to other people with disabilities out there who might be having challenges in their dating life (or even those without disabilities can also relate.
P.S i am not any love guru but this is just my personal experience

1. Take a break
Sometimes you need to take a break from relationships. It is ok to be single. This is the time you find yourself, who you really are as an individual what you like. This is the time where you look back at your past and pin point where you made mistakes. When i met BAE I was at that point in my life where i was so SINGLE. I know it might be frustrating sometimes to be single in a world where there are a lot of relationships going on. Especially these days on social media it is all about that #relationshipgoals life. You might feel like you are being left out. For me that time when i took a break i was surrounded by a lot of friends who were in "successful" relationships which was a bit stressful for me. One thing that helped me to pull through was my commitment to the goal i has chose for myself. Pheew!!! 😀 I know this sounded like a motivational speech, forgive me. My point is take a break.


2. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
I used to feel sorry for myself. I thought if a guy propose love to me he is doing me a favour. I thought i was not beautiful enough looking at other ladies around me. I used to think that the only guy who will understand me is someone with a disability. My sister/brother that is a lie 🙅🏽. One thing    you should know is love comes in different forms. Be open minded. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Wake up, dress up and never give up. As i always say in my previous blogs SLAY!!! Beauty comes in different forms and shapes. There is no standard of beauty. The moment you stop feeling sorry for yourself you will start attracting the right people Be the king/queen you are. Know what you want, Be confident and you will see that noone will ever take you for granted.

3. Embrace who you are and love yourself
You cant do anything about your disability but rather embrace, empower and enhance it. Do the things you love that makes you feel good and confident. As for me i love fashion but the thing that i love the most is lipstick. When i am wearing lipstick i feel like i am carring the world on my shoulders. I love this saying, "give a woman the right shade of lipstick and she will coquer the world. I asked one of my male and friends about the attributes they look for in a partner and the most pointed thing is CONFIDENCE. if you stop feeling sorry for yourself, embrace who you are and love yourself then confident is your middle name.

4. Do not compare
Comparison is ths thief of joy. In my past relationships i used to compare my relationship to those of my friends, movies or social media. I envied how other people take pictures with their partners, forgetting that some of those poses might not be possible for me. Now i have come to realise that my relationship is different from anyone else. One of my friends said why do you compare your relationship with the one from the movies, its a script they were written by someone. My friend uses a wheelchair she cannot stand on her own. She said she always envied how other girls hugged theif boyfriends standing up, tip toeing and all. It used to affect her because she get to hug her own boyfriend whilst seated. My boyfriend is very tall to the extent that i cant even reach his waist (maybe too exaggerated lol) whilst i am standing because of how short i am but that doesnt stop me from hugging him. Lol he squats. So sometimes it is the two of you who communicate and do what is comfortable for you than comparing.

5. Enjoy your relationship
There are some things that you are limited as a person living with a disability. Enjoy the ones you can. I enjoy watching couples doing yoga together but i cant do that. So i will enjoy sitting around and enjoy my partner's company. I enjoy just talking because that is what i can.

This was one long post my apologies 😻.
Happy relationships

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