The Healing Power of Opening up your Feelings and Thoughts

In my life i have experienced pain and hurt but not the way i felt recently when I lost my brother. I felt so hopeless, angry, sad and questioned a lot about life. I even doubted my faith. I could not understand why God would take someone so innocent and who was the anchor of the family. I could not bear the pain of seeing someone I looked up to, a person who was a father, brother, friend, cheerleader and my strength helplessly laying in that hospital bed and later on confirmed dead. I cried till i didnt have any drop left.

For the first time in my life I was able to open up to people about exactly how I was feeling. In the past I was someone who felt the need to put on a brave face whenever i am going through a tough time. I used pretend that everything is okay when they are completely the opposite. Trying to be strong all the time caused me to think I had to figure out healing all by myself which led to further isolation, prolonged pain and despair.

For the time i was able to say, "I am not okay, i am hurting." I remember crying on the phone for 30 minutes straight. I am grateful for having such caring people in my life who are so patient, empathetic and understanding.

Opening up is not easy. It is difficult to to talk about how are you feeling. It feels like people are not exactly getting your feelings.

So how do we open up to others? Here are a few steps:
1. Identify who you want to open up to
You have to open up to someone of integrity, non-judgemental, empathetic and understanding. You may initially think your closest friend  or the people you have known for longer are the most supportive but no darling. Be prepared for anything. Its the people who know you the most who can be judgemental. I felt hurt when i phoned a long time friend, telling her i was not okay. She didnt give me time to express my feelings she just said you are strong, and that was it.

2. Let the person know the kind of support you want.
Be specific. Be open. Be clear if you want financial, moral or  emotional support.

3. Share your pain
Healing begin once you start sharing. My friend was shocked when he heard me crying on the phone for the first time. He knew it.

4. Appreciate the support you receive

Understand you might not gain everything from the person, its you who fully understand your feelings. Appreciate the support you have received.

There is a healing power in opening up in any way you can, be it writing or talking to someone. If you cant find someone to talk to or you feel you have not healed after opening up then it might be high time you seek professional help.

I have not fully healed, some days i am okay, some days i am not. I am just taking each day as it comes. I am still hurt, confused and broken. I dont know what to do from here. I am still trying to figure out this new life i will be living going forward. I know  with time I will heal and figure it all out.

Sending you all my love and sunshine!